notinthebook | AU of BEING HAPPY, DAMMIT

She's got absolutely no idea what's going on.

Her head is throbbing, her heart is pounding, and she'd just helped Graham break into a grave -- isn't that the kind of thing she'd normally arrest someone for? -- but all she can concentrate on right now is the fact that they're alone in the office and she's just realizing that it's really sort of dark and cozy in here with the lights mainly off, and that his hand is gentle as he cleans up the cut on her forehead, and that she sort of feels like she's never really seen Graham before.

At least, she's never seen him with this accompanying feeling of terrifying happiness.

She's still watching him as he goes to put away the cloth he'd used, and he glances over at her, smiles, slightly, quizzical. "What?"

She doesn't have a good answer for him. It's all too complicated to put into words, but it boils down to one thing, one thought that keeps running around through her head, settling in her heart and making it race, making it feel full almost to bursting.

He picked her. He picked her. She'd pushed him away and gotten mad at him and she hadn't come here to be anything other than a friend and a partner, but then he chose her and changed everything.

When she gets up, she feels like she's moving underwater, but he waits for her, and she can feel her hand going to his shoulder like she's a person in a dream, feels his settle at her waist, and nerves make her smile, make her feel like she's sixteen years old and out in the world for the first time on her own, when she leans up to kiss him.

And it's so sweet, something she never thought she'd ever have for herself, though she doesn't understand the single tear that falls or the way he thanks her, making her smile, a helpless, hopeless, brilliant flash of a smile that cuts through the gloom they're standing in.

"Anytime."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

ahuntsman

"Me too."

He's done with caring about Regina, in what little capacity he used to be able to.

Now that he feels whole again, with his memories, he plans on using what is essentially a second chance at life to do what he wants.

He wants to make his own choices.

And right now? He chooses Emma.

He tilts her chin up a little, looking into her eyes and knowing this choice is the right one.

Then he kisses her again.

From:

notinthebook

She wishes she knew what he's seeing when he looks at her like that, but maybe it doesn't really, matter, because whatever it is, it's good enough for him to lean back down and kiss her again, pulling a little sound of longing from her throat and making her thread her fingers through his hair to pull him closer.

It's absolute insanity how good he feels, like it's not even weird to be kissing him, like it's just how things ought to be, and when this one breaks, she presses another one to his mouth, laughing a little at the feel of scruff against her lips and the fact that they're making out like teenagers in their office.

She doesn't care.

"So, you and me." Her smile is a flash of sheer happiness in the dim room. It's kind of a question and kind of a statement.

"Mary Margaret's going to be so smug."

From:

ahuntsman

"Is she?"

Graham chuckles, forehead touching hers.

He has no real idea of what anyone's been saying where he and Emma are concerned, if anything at all.

(Besides which, he's been a little busy as of late.)

But the idea of Mary Margaret and Emma talking about him, and him-and-Emma, makes him laugh a little; well, laugh and blush just a little too.

"Let her be.

"I like the sound of 'you-and-me'."

From:

notinthebook

"You have no idea."

Mary Margaret had seen the truth when she'd been stubborn and doing her best to ignore the fact that her heart always gave a little leap every time she saw him, or that their after-work drinks have sort of started getting later and lingering longer.

It had hurt more than she'd ever expected to find him leaving the mayor's house.

His cheeks aren't the only ones getting a little flushed, but what does she care if he knows he was a topic of conversation?

She can feel his heart beating against her palm, just like she had earlier when she'd tried to prove it was there. He doesn't seem to be questioning it now, at least, and she leans into him when he sets his forehead against hers.

"Me too. It's got kind of a nice ring to it."

From:

ahuntsman

"It does," Graham agrees, his smile widening and the heart in his chest pounding just that much harder.

He's trying not to get carried away with the way he feels about Emma, but it's a little difficult when you've just regained everything about yourself in the course of an evening.

"So, what do you want to do now?"

From:

notinthebook

"You mean like now now, or 'what the hell have we gotten ourselves into' now?"

For the moment, she's pretty happy just where she is, though she wouldn't say no to taking this someplace more comfortable and less, uh, work-related than the office. Hell, she'd be fine just going to Granny's for a drink, knowing that there's something more going on beneath their talk and jokes and actually knowing what it is.

When it comes to planning further ahead than than, she's a little out of her depth.

Maybe that's okay, though: Graham knows that about her, and he doesn't seem to mind.

From:

ahuntsman

"Well, I meant now now," Graham says, one hand gently rubbing her arm. "The rest of it ... if there's anything to worry about, we can worry about it later."

And really, he can't see any particular worries aside from the usual Regina-related ones.

(Which they've established they don't care about right now.)

From:

notinthebook

"Sounds good to me," she says, smiling, not even caring that goosebumps are trailing up her arm where his hand is running gently over bare skin.

Overthinking things has never been a problem of hers.

As for right now, though...

"Well, I have to say, I'm kind of a fan of the whole kissing thing," she points out, a laugh trying to escape. "But we could go someplace else. Where we don't come work every day."

Not that she isn't going to be a whole lot more fond of this office after tonight.

Her head aches a little, but she doesn't really care. "What do you think?"

From:

ahuntsman

"I think that's a great idea. I'm also a fan of 'the whole kissing thing'."

It really is kind of the best.

"So, some place not work-related, but still private enough. That sums it up, yeah?"

From:

notinthebook

"This is where I say 'your place or mine,' right?"

She's laughing, though, her hands tracing down his chest to come to rest at his waist.

"Mary Margaret'll probably notice if I bring you home, though."

Not that she cares, but...it's not really private. Not as private as she'd like.

From:

ahuntsman

"Mine, then."

Graham laughs a little too.

It's possible the situation could get especially cliche if it were anyone else but Emma.

But despite the lines being used, everything right now since he essentially 'freed' himself from Regina feels like this is the way it was always headed.

It just needed to get past that particular speedbump.

"I promise I never use a line like that either."

From:

notinthebook

"Thank God. The last thing I need is a line."

Not that she thinks he'd actually use one, and not that she thinks she'd care if he did, not with that teasing little smile quirking his lips and crinkling his eyes and making him look so damn cute. Her fingers clench in the material of his vest, and she steps back, tugging a little, lifting one eyebrow, a promise sparking deep in her eyes.

Not even being here really feels like being as alone as she wants to be with him.

"Come on, then. What're we hanging around here for?"

From:

ahuntsman

"You're right."

He raises both eyebrows just a little in response, his smile widening.

He knows exactly what she means; and honestly, it's making it vaguely difficult to concentrate.

"Let me just grab my keys, we'll lock up, and then ... head out."

To his place.

A place even Regina has never been to, in all the years she had him living this half-life.

From:

notinthebook

"Good thinking," she says, somewhere above the heady thumping of her heart where it's pounding in her ears. Still, she's reluctant to step back, even to grab her jacket and toss him his, even to wait the few minutes it takes to lock up the office and head towards the door.

She can't help it, that smile of his makes her feel like her stomach just melted, and though going back with a guy to his place isn't exactly all that strange to her, the fact that it's Graham and Graham's place ought to be.

It isn't, but shouldn't it be?

If she knew about his difficulty in concentrating, she'd agree wholeheartedly. "Ready?"

From:

ahuntsman

"I think so," he says. Though he isn't too sure, if he's going to be completely honest.

Mostly because he, too, is a little hesitant to step away from Emma - even for the brief moment it takes to do the usual office housekeeping routine.

It's a little like ... well, now that he's found her - really found her - he doesn't want to let go.

(Like if he does, this will all turn out to be a dream and he'll go back to living in the fog of Regina's Curse.)

He can feel her warmth, smell her hair, feel the beating of her heart from this distance. And it's reassuring, and pleasant and just a little more than addictive.

He closes his eyes for just a second. They can't just stand here like this for the rest of the night.

It's silly.

(And he wants her.)

"Ready."

From:

notinthebook

She's got to force her fingers to relax and let go of him, but she manages it after a second's struggle.

(That doesn't bode well for when they get back inside and alone again; she's already impatient.)

The idea of what's waiting for them is enough of a bargaining chip, though, and she collects her jacket, feeling like she's been dipped in ice water now that she's not pressed up close against him. Her face feels flushed and heated, and her breath is coming shallow and her heart is racing, and for a second she considers turning right back around and saying screw it, the office is private enough, but fortunately it only takes him a second and then they're headed out.

She gulps in cool night air, though it doesn't have much of a chance of settling her thoughts.

"I don't think I even know where you live."

From:

ahuntsman

"It's not too far from here, just by the woods; but it'll be faster if we take my car if you're okay with that."

If Graham is in any sort of a rush, he is doing his very best not to make it seem painfully obvious.

Of course, his arm brushes hers several more times than probably necessary, if only to maintain some form of contact.

The car is parked in its usual place - a designated spot with 'sheriff' printed across the concrete in small lot behind the office building.

From:

notinthebook

Her heart's going a million miles a minute, making her feel dizzy and like her blood is starting hit boiling point, and when she laughs, it's a little breathless.

"I think faster's probably better."

She's been trying to kid herself for long enough; what's the use in pretending she doesn't want this?

She can feel the warmth of his arm right through the leather of her jacket, and it makes her shiver. It's not the first time she's gotten in his car, but it sure feels different from every other time when she closes the door and clicks the seatbelt into place.

From:

ahuntsman

Graham simply nods his agreement, looking just a little giddy but mostly composed and cool.

Which, okay, requires something of an effort to maintain.

But, no matter.

They're in his car now, and he isn't lying when he says his place isn't too far from here - particularly when it's relatively late at night and the traffic (which isn't usually much on the busiest of days) is less so.

Moments later, he pulls up to a modest-looking apartment complex. It's only about four levels high and has maybe ten rooms on each floor at most, but it's clean and well-lit.

They're barely in the door of his apartment before he turns to kiss her.

From:

notinthebook

It's only a few minutes worth of driving, but a few minutes right now are a few minutes that are too damn long, and she's feeling jittery and on edge in the best possible way when they make it up to his apartment and he unlocks the door.

It all comes untangling in a rush when he turns to kiss her again -- it's not like before, in the office, tentative and gentle and just starting to figure each other out. She makes a little sound that disappears into his mouth and shrugs off her jacket to leave it in a pile of red leather on the floor before her hands go to his waist to tug him closer.

"Nice place," she says, when she can catch her breath.

She's got no idea what it looks like, but it sure is convenient.

From:

ahuntsman

Graham chuckles softly, their faces close enough that he can feel her breath when she speaks.

"Thank you," he says. "Can't say I spend much time here."

Keys still in hand, he tosses them onto the nearest table-surface, then starts to loosen his tie.

From:

notinthebook

"You work too much," she points out. "Clearly you need to relax a little more."

She's happy to help with that.

And also his tie.

She's helpful like that.

From:

ahuntsman

Well, while she's busy with his tie, he'll help Emma with her jeans.

Look at that teamwork.

"Mm - you're probably right. It may take a bit of practice, though. Fair warning."

From:

notinthebook

The tie gets slipped out from his collar and left...somewhere, to be found at a later date when the most important thing isn't to get as close as possible.

"Good thing you've got me around then," she points out, between kisses, fingers working at the buttons on his vest until she can push it off his shoulders. There's a pause when she kicks off her boots and adds them to the scattered clothes starting to pile up around them, before she leans up to kiss him again, fingers threading through his hair.

From:

ahuntsman

"Yes. I'm incredibly lucky," he agrees, his voice coming out a little breathless.

He shifts so Emma can get his vest off, never pausing in their kisses, before tossing it vaguely by the pile of scattered clothing and footwear.

Warm hands go to Emma's waist, reaching for the hem of her shirt and pulling it upwards.