AU of BEING HAPPY, DAMMIT

[notinthebook]

She's got absolutely no idea what's going on.

Her head is throbbing, her heart is pounding, and she'd just helped Graham break into a grave -- isn't that the kind of thing she'd normally arrest someone for? -- but all she can concentrate on right now is the fact that they're alone in the office and she's just realizing that it's really sort of dark and cozy in here with the lights mainly off, and that his hand is gentle as he cleans up the cut on her forehead, and that she sort of feels like she's never really seen Graham before.

At least, she's never seen him with this accompanying feeling of terrifying happiness.

She's still watching him as he goes to put away the cloth he'd used, and he glances over at her, smiles, slightly, quizzical.  "What?"

She doesn't have a good answer for him.  It's all too complicated to put into words, but it boils down to one thing, one thought that keeps running around through her head, settling in her heart and making it race, making it feel full almost to bursting. 

He picked her.  He picked her.  She'd pushed him away and gotten mad at him and she hadn't come here to be anything other than a friend and a partner, but then he chose her and changed everything.  

When she gets up, she feels like she's moving underwater, but he waits for her, and she can feel her hand going to his shoulder like she's a person in a dream, feels his settle at her waist, and nerves make her smile, make her feel like she's sixteen years old and out in the world for the first time on her own, when she leans up to kiss him.

And it's so sweet, something she never thought she'd ever have for herself, though she doesn't understand the single tear that falls or the way he thanks her, making her smile, a helpless, hopeless, brilliant flash of a smile that cuts through the gloom they're standing in.

"Anytime."

Comments

[notinthebook]

"This is where I say 'your place or mine,' right?"

She's laughing, though, her hands tracing down his chest to come to rest at his waist.

"Mary Margaret'll probably notice if I bring you home, though."

Not that she cares, but...it's not really private. Not as private as she'd like.

[ahuntsman]

"Mine, then."

Graham laughs a little too.

It's possible the situation could get especially cliche if it were anyone else but Emma.

But despite the lines being used, everything right now since he essentially 'freed' himself from Regina feels like this is the way it was always headed.

It just needed to get past that particular speedbump.

"I promise I never use a line like that either."

[notinthebook]

"Thank God. The last thing I need is a line."

Not that she thinks he'd actually use one, and not that she thinks she'd care if he did, not with that teasing little smile quirking his lips and crinkling his eyes and making him look so damn cute. Her fingers clench in the material of his vest, and she steps back, tugging a little, lifting one eyebrow, a promise sparking deep in her eyes.

Not even being here really feels like being as alone as she wants to be with him.

"Come on, then. What're we hanging around here for?"

[ahuntsman]

"You're right."

He raises both eyebrows just a little in response, his smile widening.

He knows exactly what she means; and honestly, it's making it vaguely difficult to concentrate.

"Let me just grab my keys, we'll lock up, and then ... head out."

To his place.

A place even Regina has never been to, in all the years she had him living this half-life.

[notinthebook]

"Good thinking," she says, somewhere above the heady thumping of her heart where it's pounding in her ears. Still, she's reluctant to step back, even to grab her jacket and toss him his, even to wait the few minutes it takes to lock up the office and head towards the door.

She can't help it, that smile of his makes her feel like her stomach just melted, and though going back with a guy to his place isn't exactly all that strange to her, the fact that it's Graham and Graham's place ought to be.

It isn't, but shouldn't it be?

If she knew about his difficulty in concentrating, she'd agree wholeheartedly. "Ready?"

[ahuntsman]

"I think so," he says. Though he isn't too sure, if he's going to be completely honest.

Mostly because he, too, is a little hesitant to step away from Emma - even for the brief moment it takes to do the usual office housekeeping routine.

It's a little like ... well, now that he's found her - really found her - he doesn't want to let go.

(Like if he does, this will all turn out to be a dream and he'll go back to living in the fog of Regina's Curse.)

He can feel her warmth, smell her hair, feel the beating of her heart from this distance. And it's reassuring, and pleasant and just a little more than addictive.

He closes his eyes for just a second. They can't just stand here like this for the rest of the night.

It's silly.

(And he wants her.)

"Ready."

[notinthebook]

She's got to force her fingers to relax and let go of him, but she manages it after a second's struggle.

(That doesn't bode well for when they get back inside and alone again; she's already impatient.)

The idea of what's waiting for them is enough of a bargaining chip, though, and she collects her jacket, feeling like she's been dipped in ice water now that she's not pressed up close against him. Her face feels flushed and heated, and her breath is coming shallow and her heart is racing, and for a second she considers turning right back around and saying screw it, the office is private enough, but fortunately it only takes him a second and then they're headed out.

She gulps in cool night air, though it doesn't have much of a chance of settling her thoughts.

"I don't think I even know where you live."

[ahuntsman]

"It's not too far from here, just by the woods; but it'll be faster if we take my car if you're okay with that."

If Graham is in any sort of a rush, he is doing his very best not to make it seem painfully obvious.

Of course, his arm brushes hers several more times than probably necessary, if only to maintain some form of contact.

The car is parked in its usual place - a designated spot with 'sheriff' printed across the concrete in small lot behind the office building.

[notinthebook]

Her heart's going a million miles a minute, making her feel dizzy and like her blood is starting hit boiling point, and when she laughs, it's a little breathless.

"I think faster's probably better."

She's been trying to kid herself for long enough; what's the use in pretending she doesn't want this?

She can feel the warmth of his arm right through the leather of her jacket, and it makes her shiver. It's not the first time she's gotten in his car, but it sure feels different from every other time when she closes the door and clicks the seatbelt into place.

[ahuntsman]

Graham simply nods his agreement, looking just a little giddy but mostly composed and cool.

Which, okay, requires something of an effort to maintain.

But, no matter.

They're in his car now, and he isn't lying when he says his place isn't too far from here - particularly when it's relatively late at night and the traffic (which isn't usually much on the busiest of days) is less so.

Moments later, he pulls up to a modest-looking apartment complex. It's only about four levels high and has maybe ten rooms on each floor at most, but it's clean and well-lit.



They're barely in the door of his apartment before he turns to kiss her.

[notinthebook]

It's only a few minutes worth of driving, but a few minutes right now are a few minutes that are too damn long, and she's feeling jittery and on edge in the best possible way when they make it up to his apartment and he unlocks the door.

It all comes untangling in a rush when he turns to kiss her again -- it's not like before, in the office, tentative and gentle and just starting to figure each other out. She makes a little sound that disappears into his mouth and shrugs off her jacket to leave it in a pile of red leather on the floor before her hands go to his waist to tug him closer.

"Nice place," she says, when she can catch her breath.

She's got no idea what it looks like, but it sure is convenient.

[ahuntsman]

Graham chuckles softly, their faces close enough that he can feel her breath when she speaks.

"Thank you," he says. "Can't say I spend much time here."

Keys still in hand, he tosses them onto the nearest table-surface, then starts to loosen his tie.

[notinthebook]

"You work too much," she points out. "Clearly you need to relax a little more."

She's happy to help with that.

And also his tie.

She's helpful like that.

[ahuntsman]

Well, while she's busy with his tie, he'll help Emma with her jeans.

Look at that teamwork.

"Mm - you're probably right. It may take a bit of practice, though. Fair warning."

[notinthebook]

The tie gets slipped out from his collar and left...somewhere, to be found at a later date when the most important thing isn't to get as close as possible.

"Good thing you've got me around then," she points out, between kisses, fingers working at the buttons on his vest until she can push it off his shoulders. There's a pause when she kicks off her boots and adds them to the scattered clothes starting to pile up around them, before she leans up to kiss him again, fingers threading through his hair.

[ahuntsman]

"Yes. I'm incredibly lucky," he agrees, his voice coming out a little breathless.

He shifts so Emma can get his vest off, never pausing in their kisses, before tossing it vaguely by the pile of scattered clothing and footwear.

Warm hands go to Emma's waist, reaching for the hem of her shirt and pulling it upwards.

[notinthebook]

"You've got that all wrong. The luck's all going my way right now."

She lifts her arms to let the tank top skim off over her head, lifts a hand to tug the elastic out of her hair and let it spill in wild curls down her back before turning her attention to his shirt buttons and undoing them as quickly as her faintly trembling fingers will allow.

Look at that handy wall right there; she pushes him up against it, just so they're not standing in the middle of the room anymore.

Also, she's sort of been wanting to do that since he kissed her in the middle of the street.

[ahuntsman]

"Hm - I'd say we're both lucky."

Because he isn't going to take it back. Especially not when she lets her hair tumble from her ponytail like that, blonde curls framing her face, and all Graham can think is God, she's absolutely beautiful.

He lets her back him into the wall, the sharp contrast of the cold plaster and their body heat making him exhale, sharp, against Emma's mouth.

Then he's fiddling with his belt buckle and the zipper of his trousers.

[notinthebook]

The warmth of skin against skin is almost enough to drive her crazy, running her hands over his shoulders and chest and stomach to help him with the buckle and button and zipper, pushes at the fabric at his hips.

So maybe this is where they were always headed. She doesn't know, couldn't say for certain; all she knows is that when she presses kisses along the side of his throat and tastes salt off his skin she can't think of a single more addicting thing than him.

The air in here feels cool, or maybe it's just that she feels like she's burning up. "Graham," she says, half a laugh and half a gasp and all distracted, but she's not sure what she was planning on saying after that, just kisses him deep, eyes closed and heart thundering in her ears.

[ahuntsman]

It takes him one drunk-with-desire moment before he can even respond anyway.

It's a muffled, "Yes?" that issues from his lips before he's exploring other parts of her, skin always touching skin.

His lips are buried in the crook of her neck, placing another row of kisses along her shoulder, over the strap of her bra.

[notinthebook]

She shivers at the feel of warm breath and warm lips against the sensitive skin of her neck, tips her head to give him better access. A little whimper escapes before she swallows hard, gives a breathless laugh.

"This is a terrible tour of your apartment. Where the hell is your bedroom?"

Not that she honestly cares. The way things are going, she'd be just fine with...wherever they are right now. Living room? Kitchen? She's got no idea.

This is crazy. She's crazy. He's crazy. But god, when he looks at her, it's like her brain just short-circuits.

Logic's overrated anyway.

[ahuntsman]

"Bedroom," he repeats, taking a moment to let the word sink in so he can focus past everything that is Emma.

Then with an almost embarrassed chuckle, he continues. "Right. This is a terrible tour of my apartment.

"Not that there's much to see."

He pulls apart from her for just a moment to grin a little, offering her a hand.

"Come on."

[notinthebook]

"If that's not where we're headed then you're sending some seriously mixed signals."

She just can't stop, like she opens her mouth and idiotic stuff falls out of it, but she can't help it when she can barely think straight anymore. Frankly, he's lucky she's making sense at all.

Still, she feels weirdly shy when he pulls away, realizing just how almost naked she actually is. It's a weird feeling, vulnerability.

But she reaches out and takes his hand anyway, her smile flashing uncertainly in the dark.

"Right behind you."

[ahuntsman]

Being that the apartment space is really rather small, it's only a few steps down what would be advertised as a 'hall space' on a real estate advertisement before they reach his bedroom.

He pushes the door open and pulls Emma inside by the hand, aware that they're both almost completely naked but not caring one iota.

He hasn't felt so genuinely happy in such a long time that it's hard to believe this is actually happening.

"I want you, Emma," he tells her, softly. "No mixed signals, I promise."

[notinthebook]

There it is again. Him, choosing her. Wanting her.

She can't help the smile that grows, shy, at hearing that, every nerve in her body sparking into life.

"I'm right here," she promises, stepping close, one hand settling on his chest as she looks up into his face.

He's so handsome it hurts. "All yours. And...I want you, too."

It's not even simply raw desire, but she can't explain it any better than that, so she reaches up to kiss him, instead.