(no subject)

[notinthebook]

When she wakes up, mouth fuzzy and head aching, and stumbles past the linen closet on her way to the shower, she can't help pausing as she grabs a towel.

She could say the words, grab a cup of coffee and something greasy at the bar, wait out this hangover, head to work once her head's cleared a little.  It would be easy.  No one would miss her.

She stares at the closed closet door, then heads to the bathroom without opening it again.






That all just means that she's a little surly when she gets to the office.  Graham's as affable as ever, and if he notices the redness of her eyes or the way she digs into a breakfast burrito at her desk or the fact that she keeps refilling her coffee, he doesn't mention it.

He does tell her that she's on her own for lunch -- her turn to man the phonelines, but she waves him away -- after a day like yesterday, after a night like last night, she's more than happy to just hang out here and not think about a single damn thing.

Comments

[stillsmallvoice]

Emma's tough, but when it comes down to it... he's seen worse in Storybrooke over the years.

"No, you aren't." He nods slow acceptance; "But sometimes there are things that you can't get out of your head without telling someone who won't judge you."

A very slight smile lingers and he sighs softly, waiting several long moments to ensure that she understands he's not about to leave... but also not a threat.

In that same small voice, he says; "You know who Henry thinks I am... and I want to be the man that he sees, but I've done things in the past that definitely go against my conscience." His load presented, he murmurs; "You're not the only one who doesn't want to talk about it."

[notinthebook]

She kind of gets the idea that she's not going to be able to get Michael out of her head anytime soon, talking about him or not.

"I don't think I could handle being a conscience," she says, first, toying with the plastic lid of her cup until a tiny piece breaks off and she flicks it away. "People piss me off too much."

Man, he's persistent. Glancing up at him with a wry look, she can tell he plans on going absolutely nowhere, and she just doesn't have the energy or desire to keep shoving at him. This is what he does for a living, and he's good at it -- it's just that she never knows what to say at times like this.

"It was just -- rough. With Henry. And Regina. I probably shouldn't have handled it like I did, but -- I did. I don't know what you want me to say, Archie, I didn't exactly think all that hard about it."

[stillsmallvoice]

The thought he can't exactly handle it himself draws out an unexpected smile, and he listens carefully to what she's saying just as much as what she isn't.

"It's okay, Emma." He sips he drink, almost casually; "Maybe you could tell me what happened and it might be a little more clear for you?"

[notinthebook]

"Hey."

She points a warning finger at him.

"Don't think you can pull that shrink crap on me just because you appealed to my sweet tooth. Okay? Friendly conversation is one thing. I don't feel like being analyzed."

She likes the guy, but therapy's never been her thing. What's the point, when there's no one you can trust enough to talk to?

[stillsmallvoice]

"Fair enough." He offers a reflexive smile and then reaches for a bear claw from the box.

Musing more to make a point than anything, he says; "Have you considered a dog? I know when there's nobody I can talk to, Pongo makes a passable sounding board."

He shrugs; "Of course, he doesn't say anything helpful... but when he works for dog biscuits I can't really complain."

[notinthebook]

Her mouth twists, rueful. "I had a fish once. I died because Ieft for a week and forgot to get somebody to feed it."

She's not really very good at taking care of things.

There's a long moment when she considers her own donut, a frown pulling hard between her brows.

(Damn it, she really shouldn't think about the last time a guy bought her a donut, but there it is, and all of a sudden he's right back in her head again.

Great.)

"I don't know what it is," she says, finally. "It's like I'm a bug she wants to squish. No matter what I do, I'm always just something in her way."

[stillsmallvoice]

Oops.

He takes a bite, and then looks back up at her when the unspoken name between them comes up.

Hesitant, naturally, he agrees. "It's not just you, anyone that isn't playing her game her way gets the same treatment." And now, he's on that same list, which terrifies him in a way he could never explain.

"You're different, Emma. You don't play her game and that makes her very angry... were it not for Henry, I'd have told you to leave this place the first time you crossed her."

[notinthebook]

"I'm not scared of Regina. It'd take a lot more than anything she's capable to get me out of this town. Henry's my son, too."

Of course, that's what's got her so on edge: she'd never expected to see that kid, let alone feel the way she does about him.

She'd thought her heart was going to stop when that mine collapsed.

[stillsmallvoice]

He nods more emphatically, only nibbling at the pastry.

"She will try," and he knows all too well, he's spent too long under her foot to not know; "but I'm glad that you're here. Henry needs you."

[notinthebook]

She thinks that over for a second, lips pressed into a wry, barely there curve.

"I guarantee you're the first person who's said that about me, ever."

No one's ever needed her, to the best of her knowledge. No one's wanted her around. She's never been someone's best friend, and even when she was a girlfriend -- well, there was usually something else going on.

"He's a good kid. He deserves better than what he's got." Shoulders and chest rise and fall with a silent sigh. "I just want to do right by him."

[stillsmallvoice]

Almost on word, Archie's smile returns with a nearly full force.

"You will. You have a very strong sense of what's right and necessary." He chuckles dryly once more; "You give him something that Regina never could."

[notinthebook]

She gives him a tiny, amused smile.

"What, hope that I'll break the curse?"

[stillsmallvoice]

"That too." He takes another small bite, rather pleased with the amused smile - it certainly beats the from from before.

"But also someone he can trust completely, a true friend."

[notinthebook]

"I hope so."

Her gaze turns inward and thoughtful again, but there's affection in the tiny smile that tucks at the corners of her lips.

"Thanks. I'm glad you think so. And...I'm glad to have you on Henry's side."

[stillsmallvoice]

"He's a good boy, we can't let her take that from him."

Archie lets another lull fall between them - comfortable with the quiet.

[notinthebook]

She nods, cupping both hands around her hot chocolate, like the warmth could seep through her skin and soothe away the aches and anxieties she's carrying around with her.

Stupid, stupid. She knows better than to try and drink away whatever's weighing her down.

And she should have known better than to flirt with Michael to make herself feel better. Even knowing she actually likes him doesn't make her feel less guilty -- that just makes everything that much more complicated.

"Well, he's stubborn." She gives Archie a crooked smile.

"Must get that from me."

[stillsmallvoice]

Letting a soft laugh slip, Archie shrugged.

"That's a pretty safe hypothesis, if it were possible."

[notinthebook]

Of course, Regina's pretty stubborn, too, but Emma likes her theory better.

She's successfully deflected the conversation back to Henry again, but she's not sure where to go with it now. The truth is, she doesn't really know Archie well, though he seems like a nice guy.

It's just that she's not used to spending enough time with people to get to know them, and it's not really a strong suit of hers.

"What did you come here to talk about, Archie? I know you'll go the extra mile for your patients, but I don't think you're here just to give me an update on Henry's well-being or to comment on my hangover."

[stillsmallvoice]

He's not entirely comfortable himself, but it's important for him to step as far as he can to be a shoulder when needed - someone that people know they can trust.

"Not just, no." He's not fond of corners, nor being forced into them... but he's pretty sure it's one of Emma's specialties.

Quietly, glancing up at her, he admits; "I thought you could use a friend in Storybrooke, someone you can talk to that doesn't have a vested interest."

[notinthebook]

She feels a little bad about the way Archie shifts, looking uncomfortable: he's not an antagonist, not an enemy, just a guy trying to lend her a helping hand, which she's biting right off.

There's a sensible reaction for you.

Giving her hot chocolate a chagrined look, she shrugs, feeling sort of guilty for pushing at him. It might be her instinct, but even she knows that's not the right one to have.

(Probably when he says 'friend' she shouldn't think 'ally', but that's just another kneejerk reaction.)

"Thanks," she says, awkward. "I think I can use all the friends I can get. But I, uh, I'm pretty used to working alone. This is all kind of a new thing for me."

[stillsmallvoice]

'Ally' wouldn't be wrong in the least.

"I understand," he shifts again, slowly getting up to his feet and wiping his hands together after throwing away the remainder of his pastry. "Believe it or not."

With a soft smile, he picks up his umbrella and taps gently against the side of the desk.

"Tell the sheriff I said 'hello'."

[notinthebook]

"You got it."

She gets up, too, thumbs slipping into her back pockets as she gives him a lopsided little smile.

"Thanks for the goodies. I'll try to save some for Graham."

She lifts her hand as he turns to go, watches as he wanders away, that ever-present umbrella swinging easily by his side, and for a second a thoughtful look crosses her face before she shakes her head and sits back down at her desk, bearclaw in one hand and file in the other.

She even saves the rest of the box for Graham.

(Not that she isn't tempted.)